by seeking and blundering, we learn
by sapphermine
Summary: [x-posted in ao3] They've all heard how 'mean' Zach could be. They were all so focused on waiting for Zach to mess up that none of them realized what was really happening until it was nearly too late.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary:** They've all heard how 'mean' Zach could be. Claire learned from her sister Karen, Owen heard from Claire (or rather, was forced to, as Claire wanted to prove that she knew her nephews, even though she can't remember their ages). And so when Zach started being 'mean', no one thought it strange because they were all expecting it. They were all so focused on waiting for Zach to mess up that none of them realized what was really happening until it was nearly too late.

 **by seeking and blundering, we learn** **  
** **Chapter One**

It happened so suddenly.

Or rather, it happened gradually but no one noticed until it was almost too late.

Owen had no idea how the boys were normally like so he thought nothing of Zach's strange behavior. Claire, as well as Gray and Zach's parents were calm, happy even, at the chance of another start, and so he ignored his mental warning bells telling him that something was wrong. Gray, on the other hand, kept throwing worried glances at his brother but even he wasn't saying anything.

But then, none of them really knew what it was like to have a concussion. Owen, on the other hand, learned and experienced all the signs from his time in the Navy and yet, he too failed to make the connection.

It started when Zach wanted to leave the hangar, to go home.

Back then, Claire was still needed by the authorities for questioning. She wasn't in any kind of trouble but she was the head of operations and so they asked her to wait to help out. Though none of it was her fault, she willingly stayed, trying to help wherever or however she could. Owen stayed right beside her, for 'survival'. It wasn't like he had anywhere to be after all and there was still that nagging feeling that he could lose her if they separated. It was the beginning of PTSD, Owen knew that. He was seeing signs of it in Claire as well, as she too, refused to let him out of her sight. Right now, however, Owen wasn't thinking too much about it- there was no doubt in his mind that they'd be able to deal with it. Together.

So when Zach started arguing with his parents to go home, Owen couldn't help that little irritation from bubbling through. He'd heard from Claire that Zach could get mean at times, but this wasn't just being 'mean'. It was an insult to Claire because, hadn't she risked life and limb just to find them? Couldn't the boy wait for a few more hours for her in return? Owen would have voiced these thoughts out loud if Zach's parents weren't doing the same thing.

It became quickly obvious that this wasn't the first time something like this happened. Judging by the amount of frustration on their faces, Owen could tell that they were near breaking point with Zach.

Zach, on the other hand, didn't seem like anything was getting through to him at all. He kept the argument going, sometimes repeating himself, as if he couldn't remember what was said. The boy's gestures were sloppy, uncoordinated. And he would slur his words from time to time. All this should have rung warning bells in Owen's head, but it only served to irritate him and Zach's parents more. So the argument built in intensity until the father took Zach's arms and said enough, that they were going to walk it off, and that Zach should, "Try and act more like your brother, please? Sometimes, you're more trouble than you're worth."

Gray was silent as he watched his brother argue endlessly with their parents, the expression on his face worried and terrified at the same time. Claire was behind him, her arms wrapped tightly around the boy with Gray clutching at her just as tightly. When it was over, Gray watched his father march his brother away before turning to Claire and saying, "I've never seen Zach act like that before," with a question in his eyes as if he couldn't believe that Zach was acting like that.

The mother, Karen, turned towards them then and, with an expression that told Owen she'd done this a thousand times before, said, "I'm so sorry you had to see that. Zach's always been... a bit hard to handle. And Scott doesn't really help out-," she stopped, looking regretfully at Gray. She looked torn for a moment, then her face cleared and with a gentle smile asked Gray, "Are you all right, honey? I know you don't like seeing people argue so I'm sorry you had to see that. Hopefully, Zach will be more reasonable by the time he gets back."

He wasn't.

Zach was sullen when he came back. He sat away from their little group, staring listlessly at the crowd. When asked a question, he turned to the speaker slowly, and he answered slowly too. Sometimes, he'd snap his replies at them, getting irrationally irritable as time wore on. Owen could tell Zach's behavior was grating more and more on everyone's nerves, himself included.

And so when Gray tried to get Zach to go with him to get food, one his many attempts to lighten his brother's mood, and when Zach roughly pushed the boy away, angrily yelling at him to, "Get the hell off me!" Owen had enough of it.

In the stunned silence he stood up, forced a smile on his face and loudly declared, "Oookay Zach! You and I are getting some grub right now. Come on, come on! Up you go!" Owen said, pulling Zach to stand up.

And just in time too, because it looked like Karen was so close to losing it, the father, Scott, had a frown on his face that was getting deeper by the second, Claire herself was near lecture mode, and Gray… Owen couldn't bear the sight of that kid looking so betrayed like that.

Pulling Zach away from his family, Owen glanced back and offered them what he hoped was a reassuring smile. When they were out of earshot, Owen was ready to give the kid a piece of his mind, but before he could, Zach said, "Owen, I think something's wrong with me."

Owen couldn't stop the, "Yeah, no _shit_ ," from coming out. Or the, "One minute you're the greatest brother ever. Now you're starting to become the biggest jerk I know. And believe me I know a lot of jerks. So what gives?"

There was a flash of _hurt_ in Zach's eyes when Owen turned to the boy, but it quickly vanished when he shook his head, as if forcing a bad thought away. He winced suddenly, like the movement caused him pain, but he bit his lip and said, "It's my head," Zach started, wincing again as they neared the entrance of the hangar, shielding his eyes from the light pouring through, "It was fine on the island, but when everything calmed down it just..."

"Come on, Zach," Owen urged, Gray's betrayed expression still fresh on his mind, "A headache, really? Everyone's probably got a headache because of how you've been acting but no one's become a jerk yet. You were awesome back at the island! I would have given you Best Elder Brother of the Year award! So what happened? Why do you keep on pushing us away? Pushing _Gray_ away? Don't you care about your brother?"

Owen saw Zach gritting his teeth at that, a frown deeply etched across his face. Under his breath, he muttered, "Gray. It's always _Gray_. Why does it always come back to Gray?"

The boy wasn't looking at him when he said that, just again, staring listlessly at something far away. From time to time he would stumble, as if inebriated. And his eyes, from what Owen could see, were dull and lifeless. The boy looked so exhausted that he looked like he could fall asleep any moment.

Owen saw all of this, but the emotions he felt for these kids were blinding him. As much as he felt the need to be with Claire at all times, he too felt that he had to watch out for these kids. They _kept each other alive_ back at the island. No matter how short it had been, a bond had already formed. He felt protective of them, as if they were his own, like they were part of his pack.

Owen couldn't bear the thought of seeing any of them hurt.

And right now, it was clear to him that Zach was hurting Gray. And because Claire must feel that same need to watch over her nephews; by extension, Zach was hurting Claire as well. So focused was he on Gray and Claire, Owen wasn't quite thinking as straight as he normally does. He heard _jealousy_ in Zach's voice and nothing else, so when he took Zach's arms and turned him around so that they were facing each other, Owen didn't quite catch that flash of fear in Zach's eyes.

Overcome with emotion, Owen only tightened his grip on Zach's arms and, frowning hard, said, "Zach, would you _listen_ to yourself? This is your _brother_ we're talking about! We've just been through-," there were no words to describe what they've been through, only, "Hell. We've been through hell and what do you do? Gray looks up to you. Anyone with eyes can see how he's been leaning on you for support. Don't be insensitive, Zach. You're the elder brother. Taking care of Gray is supposed to be your job!"

Zach angrily pulled away, frowning just as hard at Owen. Rubbing his arms, he took a step closer to the elder man, and with so much anger and frustration, said, "What do you _know_ about my family? About me and Gray? What gives you the right to tell me I'm not doing 'my job'? I never left Gray alone in that park! I did everything I could to keep him safe! I don't need you to tell me that it's my job! I already know that it is! My whole _life_ I've been told that it is."

Breathing deeply as the anger left him, Zach glared once more at Owen before turning resolutely away. Jamming his hands inside the pocket of his jeans, he hunched in on himself, and softly said, "'s 'bout the only thing I'm good for most days."

Owen heard all of this but his distraction was preventing him from understanding what Zach just said. Because when Zach looked at him in the eyes, Owen was just as angry at first. But then something started to nag at him. Something wrong. Owen was about to get Zach to look at him once more when a man walked near them, carrying a tray filled with food.

Owen felt his stomach drop when Zach took one look at the food, recoiled, then began to heave. Zach quickly placed his hands over his mouth, eyes closed tightly as he tried to calm his stomach down. But before Owen could reach Zach, the boy was already dashing madly towards one of the trash bins randomly scattered around the hangar. Not caring one bit about what was in it, Zach knelt in front of one, knocked the lid off and started to retch in to it.

Owen was at Zach's side not even a beat later. Forgetting every frustration he felt towards the kid, Owen started to rub comfortingly at the boy's back, pulling some of Zach's hair back as they were beginning to stick to his forehead. As far as Owen could remember, Zach was the only who hadn't eaten. He'd been acting out at that time, so everyone else was content to ignore the boy.

Now, though.

Watching as Zach dry-heaved into the bin, constantly spitting out globs of saliva, Owen couldn't help but feel worried. If it wasn't because of the food...

A staff came near him and placed a bottle of water beside Owen, its cap already off. Owen nodded gratefully at the man, before turning quickly back to Zach who was now panting heavily from the ordeal, his head resting against his hands still clutching tightly at the rim of the trash bin. Wrapping one arm around Zach's still shaking shoulders, Owen gently took the bin away from Zach, placing it somewhere beside him. After getting Zach to rest back against him, Owen reached for the uncapped water bottle and while softly telling Zach to drink a bit of it, Owen carefully, slowly tipped the bottle back.

Zach had only taken a bit of water before he groaned and pushed weakly at Owen's hands. His eyes still screwed shut, Zach buried his face on Owen's shoulder, trying to find a bit of solace in darkness. Then he brought his hands to his head and began to rub at his temple, getting more and more aggressive as his frustration grew.

Owen, afraid that Zach will hurt himself, took one of Zach's wrist and gently lowered it down. With the arm wrapped around Zach's shoulders, Owen pulled the boy closer to him and as softly as he could, said, "Zach? Open your eyes for me, please? Look at me, Zach. Look at me."

Zach didn't move for a while and just when Owen thought the boy hadn't heard him, Zach slowly lifted his head against Owen's shoulder, turned to him and opened his eyes.

He really should have realized it sooner. Against the light, Zach's pupils weren't reacting like they were supposed to. Zach quickly closed his eyes afterwards, but that was enough for Owen.

Forcing the panic down, Owen said, "Zach, I want you to listen to me. We're going to carefully stand up, okay? We're going to the medical tents outside. It's going to be bright, but it's just a few steps away, I promise. If you start to feel nauseous, tell me. It's okay. We'll stop and let you get settled. I'm worried about that headache," readying himself to support the boy, Owen began to stand up but Zach pulled away, shaking his head once before groaning painfully.

Opening his eyes to glare at Owen, Zach took a moment to gather himself before standing up without help. He swayed as he got to his feet, but before Owen could help steady him, Zach stepped away, frowning balefully at the elder man.

Owen looked questioningly at Zach before gesturing towards where the medical tents were, "Come on, kid. Let's get you checked out."

Zach nearly shook his head but instead settled with a resolute, "No."

Owen raised his brows in surprise at that, and then taking a step forward, said, "Zach, I'm serious."

"Well I'm serious, too," Zach replied, frowning, "Leave me alone, Owen."

"Zach-,"

"I _said_ ," Zach interrupted, taking another step back from Owen, "Leave me alone! Just minutes ago you were telling me I'm a liar. Now you want me to get checked out because of my fictional headache! You don't even really care, right? You're just doing this because of Aunt Claire. And for some reason, Gray. But then everyone loves Gray anyway so I guess that's not surprising. So can you just go back to them already and leave me alone?"

"Zach, you don't understand-,"

"Oh, no. No, no, no," he said, scoffing, "I understand _perfectly_. You're doing this to get in Aunt Claire's good graces, right? Or her family? Well, newsflash! You don't have to. You saved Gray's life after all. And Gray," Zach continued, matter-of-factly, "Gray is important. So go back to him already. And Aunt Claire. I mean, 'anyone with eyes'", Zach parroted Owen, "anyone with eyes can see she can't take her eyes off of you. She could be looking for you right now. So don't waste your time on me anymore and go back to her already! I'm not important anyway."

It was at this point that Owen remembered what Zach was saying before. Frowning hard, Owen asked, "Why would you say that? That is not true."

Zach just shrugged, "Like I said. What do you know about my family?" He turned away from Owen then, and began to walk. Owen was behind him a second later.

"Stop following me! You just wanted me gone from there, right? 'Cause I've been giving everyone headaches? Now I'm gone, so there. No need to make up all that medical tent bullshit. I get it. Just find me when we can leave. Or not. Whatever. I don't care."

Matching his pace with Zach's, who was now briskly walking in an effort to get away, Owen said, "Zach, I know we got off on the wrong start but I swear to you, I just want to help. We really need to go to the tents. You've got a concu-,"

"Just stop it!" reaching one of the hangar's walls and with no where else to go, Zach whirled angrily facing Owen and asked, "What do you want from me? Fine! I'll go to the damn tents! Just go back, okay? If you're gone too long they'll probably blame it on me. Because I did something 'wrong' or 'mean'. Then Dad will be pissed. Mom will be pissed because of Dad. And Gray will get all depressed because he doesn't like to see them fight. In the end, it'll all be my fault! You want to help? Then go back already."

"Wha- Zach, I'm not leaving you!"

"Because you can't trust me?!"

"Because I care about you!" Owen exclaimed, looking at Zach straight in the eyes, "I _care_ about you, Zach. Not just Claire. Not just Gray. _You_ are important to me, too."

That admission made Zach pause. But he frowned a moment later and whispered, "Adults shouldn't lie."

"Well, I'm not lying. Not about this," taking a step closer to Zach, Owen reached out and squeezed one of Zach's arms, "So, please. Come with me to the medical tents? Everyone cares about you, Zach. Me. Claire. Gray. Your parents. None of us like to see you-,"

"Shut up!" Zach suddenly said, angry once again. He jerked away from Owen when he said that, trying to get Owen's hand off, but in his anger Zach used a bit too much strength. Owen was pushed backwards. Zach, whose balance was already compromised because of the concussion, crashed against the wall, his back hitting it rather painfully. With his breath knocked away from the impact, Zach slid bonelessly against the wall to the ground, panting heavily as he tried to get his breathing back.

Once again, Owen was immediately at Zach's side kneeling beside him, a hand wrapped around the side of Zach's neck, urgently telling the boy to, "Breathe, Zach. Just breathe. You're okay. I'm right here. You're gonna be okay."

Then before Owen could call for help, because _watching the kid die_ wasn't something he wanted to do, Zach croaked, "That's a lie, you know. About Mom and Dad. And Aunt Claire."

"What is?"

"They don't care. Not about me. Just Gray. Gray is important. He's the one keeping this family together."

Owen knew that this was the concussion talking, and that whatever he said, Zach would probably forget, but still. With Zach slumped against the wall, his eyes lidded with pain, with _hurt,_ Owen had to say, "That's not true. Zach, you know that's not true. Your Aunt was in hysterics trying to find you. You remember what she said in the jeep, right? She said that she was't going to take her eyes off of you. Both of you. Not just Gray. And your parents. You're right. What do I know about your family? But I was there when they saw you. Your mother was in tears when she hugged you. Your dad couldn't let you go for a whole minute! Zach, there's no way they don't care about you!"

"But it's true!" Zach immediately countered, "I keep hoping that it isn't, but it is. I was a mistake you know. Aunt Claire told me. Mom and Dad never wanted me. They weren't ready yet, weren't even married yet, and then suddenly there I was. They had no choice but to get married! If they hadn't, if they hadn't had me, maybe they'd both be happy. Not like this."

Owen shook his head, "Kid, that is not your fault. Never ever think that that's your fault. No child is a mistake. And I don't ever want to hear you say that again."

Laughing without mirth, Zach looked away from Owen then pulled his knees to his chest, wrapped his arms around them and buried his head within his arms.

"They always have time when it comes to Gray. I used to think I had to be better than him to get their attention. Except, you know that Gray's a genius, right? So I've never even gotten close. It doesn't help that whenever I try it blows up in my face," tightening his arms around his knees, Zach continued, "I've never resented Gray for that. None of it is his fault. It's just, sometimes I get so frustrated I lash out. He's my brother and I love him but... When's it gonna be my turn, you know? When will I ever be good enough?"

Lifting his head from within his arms, Zach looked at Owen and Owen's heart broke. No one should look _so tired_. So Owen did the only thing he could do. Looking at Zach straight in the eyes, he promised,

"I can't say that I'll be there for you always because that's impossible. But I will promise you this: You will always be important to me. Not because you're Claire's nephew. Or because you're Gray's brother. But because I care about _you_. We've only known each other for less than a day, but the things we experienced on that island far surpasses anything else we can if we'd met anywhere else. I've seen you at your worst, Zach. And your best. You are more than just 'good enough'. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise."

Zach stared at Owen for a while, searching. Then he took a deep, shuddering breath, and as he let it out Owen was glad to see a bit of light back in his eyes.

Taking the chance, Owen said, "Will you let me go with you to the tents? You've got a concussion, kid. 's why your head's been hurting like a bitch. I just want to make sure it's nothing we can't handle."

Zach didn't answer immediately, but just when Owen thought he hadn't gotten through the boy after all, Zach said with a smirk, "You're not supposed to say that word."

Owen barked out a laugh at that, shaking his head at the memory it brought. Still chuckling lightly, Owen stood up and offered a hand to Zach.

Zach took one look at Owen's hand and sighed.

"Concussion, huh? I had one before, doing soccer. It didn't feel like this at all. This one really sucks."

"Which is why off to the tents we go!" Owen replied, smiling, "Maybe they can give you something so that it'll suck a little less."

"I think it's from when we jumped," he slurred, "From the waterfall. I twisted to make sure Gray followed. I must have landed badly or something. Not sure. I don' real rem'mber."

Owen's smile disappeared at that.

Falling at that height into water and getting out without injury was possible. But if they'd landed wrong...

Feeling the urgency, Owen bended so that he could take one of Zach's arms. Pulling the boy gently, Owen told Zach, "Let's get you checked out now, okay? Zach?"

Owen waited but Zach didn't respond.

Kneeling once again to look at Zach's face, Owen's eyes widened in alarm when he found Zach's eyes were closed. Not caring about the nausea Zach was feeling, Owen shook Zach and nearly yelled, "Zach? Zach! Come on, kid! Open your eyes! Zach!"

Zach didn't even stir.

Swallowing his panic down, Owen prayed to everything holy and yelled, "Help! Someone get a medic here! I need help!"


	2. Chapter 2

Zach was content to stay in the darkness.

Nothing could reach him there- not pain, or confusion. Not even those voices that make him feel that terrible ache in his chest. But every time he'd be brought back into the light, he'd hear them.

At first they were angry:

 _"...just check one more time?! I know it's a concussion, how long do you- Are you even a doctor?!"_

 _"-my son... not in a coma? How sure are y-?"_

 _"Fu- you! That boy is my nephew! If I don't get transport out of here right now I swear I-!"_

The anger didn't last long, however. When Zach swam into the light again, most of the anger was gone, only to be replaced by an emotion that confused Zach: Worry. And fear, as if they were going to lose something important to them.

Anger, he understood. If the voices were talking about him like he thought they were, then Zach understood why there was anger. Most of the things he did made people angry at him after all. Like that time when he fixed grandpa's old car. He might not be as smart as Gray but that didn't mean he didn't know _anything._ Of course stealing was bad but he intended to return the old engine afterwards- all he wanted was to let them know that there were still some things that he can do that Gray can't.

Or that time when he took Gray to a museum without asking for permission. Everyone was so angry at him when they returned- even Claire when their mom told her. He was grounded for _months_ because apparently, not only did he recklessly endangered Gray, he'd also stolen the money they used to get to the musem. None of them, with the exception of Gray, really believed him when he said that the money was his.

And it was. They weren't exactly poor, but Zach knew that there were some luxuries that they couldn't afford. So he started saving. He was going to use the money to buy himself a phone, but when their parents started arguing, when he realized that it was going to be one of the bad ones, he took all of his money to get Gray out of the house. Gray would realize it himself eventually; he was smart, after all. But until then, Zach wanted to let Gray believe he had the perfect family.

Zach knew about anger. And disappointment. So the worry:

 _"Zach, honey. Plea... wake up! Please, please... wake u-!"_

 _"No! Let me stay with him! I want to- Dad, I need to stay with-!"_

 _"-on't do this to me, kid. You... to wake up! I know you can hear... -gotta wake up, kid. Zach, you have to wake up!"_

Must be for someone else.

But that last voice was Owen's. Zach couldn't really tell the voices apart, but Owen was the last person he talked to. Owen was the only one left who didn't think he was a failure.

At least not yet.

Unable to bear the thought of Owen disappointed in him, Zach took a deep breath, and opened his eyes.

* * *

There was no one there.

White walls, white sheets, white everything. It took a while for him to make the connection, but there was only one place he could be. Just when he was about to wonder why he was there, what happened to him, all of the memories began to return.

He didn't realize it, but as he remembered, his breath started coming in short gasps, his hands had grasped the sheets so hard they were turning white, and that tears were steadily pouring from his eyes.

He was so terrified. And confused. And hurt, because again _no one_ was there.

How long ago was it that Owen told him he was important, too? Did he take so long to wake up that he'd once again managed to-

"-ach! Zach! Calm down! You have to calm down!"

There were hands gripping both of his arms, tight enough that Zach was able to use it to anchor himself. He was slowly calming down, but the inablitiy to draw a deep breath was starting to make him panic.

Somehow, the person holding him knew and gently, but firmly instructed him to, "Just take slow and steady breaths, Zach. Slow and steady. Can you feel my chest as it falls and rises?" and somehow, they'd managed to climb into the bed with him, managed to wrap an arm around him without Zach knowing, "Just like that. Slow and steady, Zach. Just breathe."

It took a while, but Zach could now breathe properly again.

This was when he noticed that the person beside him was shaking. Confused, he looked up, and was surprised to see that it was Claire.

And that she was crying.

His strong Aunt Claire, crying? She didn't even cry when they were at the park running for their lives, not even once. Did something happen? Had something so terrible happened that-

"Aunt Claire?" he rasped, his voice so soft he could barely hear himself, "Is ev'ryone... okay?"

Claire looked at him then, both surprised and confused. Zach could see there were many things she wanted to say, but all she said was, "Yes, of course. Everyone's fine."

"Then why are you crying?"

Claire was taken aback by the question, because wasn't it obvious the tears were for him? But then she remembered what Owen told them, what Zach had told him before he collapsed and...

She couldn't help herself. She pulled Zach closer to her and buried her face in the crook of his neck, crying even harder. All this time she thought she'd pegged both the brothers perfectly well. It was her ability to read other people that brought her to where she was within the company, after all. But she was wrong.

Everything she knew about the people in her life was wrong.

If there was one thing she was grateful for, for all the trauma they've all been through, it was this. Now she had the chance to get to know them better. And to make amends.

Getting Zach to look at her, she took one of his hands and, holding it tightly said, "Owen... When Owen came to find us when you- when he told us what had happened to you, I was so terrified. We'd just survived something so horrible together, so the thought of losing you... Even if it was a small chance, all this time I've been terrified that you won't wake up. That you've become so fed up with us failing you all the time that you'd just... give up.

"But you're stronger than I thought. You proved that to me back when we were at the island, when you kept on protecting Gray over and over again. And so I believed. I knew you were going to wake up.

"I wasn't crying because I'm sad, Zach. I'm crying because I'm happy that you're awake."

Zach didn't say anything for a while. But when he looked away, Claire was ecstatic to see Zach's lips curved up in a smile.

Slowly climbing down from the bed, Claire grimaced when she saw the mess on the floor. She was on her way back from buying dinner when she saw the nurses rushing towards Zach's room. She must have dropped it when she saw Zach struggling to breathe.

More than the Indominous, that was something Claire never wanted to see again.

Settling down on the couch near Zach's bed, the boy having waved her away when she tried to help him lie down, Claire smiled.

It was going to be okay now.

They were all finally going to be okay.

"Hey, Claire?" Zach suddenly asked, still turned away from her, "Where is everyone?"

Then she remembered: "Oh my god! I have to tell them!"

"But where are they?"

Zach's tone made her pause in her search for her phone. She looked at her nephew and wondered if the question meant something else.

"They're staying at a hotel nearby. The closest we could find," she answered, "Owen is with them. He didn't want to leave without knowing you're all right."

"Really? He doesn't miss his family yet or something?"

Claire couldn't help but smile at the wonder and awe in Zach's voice, no matter how much he tried to hide it. Even Gray looked at Owen like he was some sort of super hero. She found it adorable; but also worrying. Seriously, if Owen was going to be a bad example, she was going to kick his ass.

"He told us they were miles away. And that they haven't talked for a while. That it's just been him all this time. So unfortunately, you'll be seeing a lot of him for a very, very long time."

At this, Zach turned to her. There was a teasing grin on his lips when he asked, "Are you going to keep him?"

"Ugh. It's not like I have a choice," she replied, playing along, "Someone needs to make sure he at least cleans himself up."

Claire hadn't realized how long ago she'd seen Zach with a smile that reached his eyes until now. But then he turned away again and asked, "How long has it been?"

"Since he last cleaned himself?" she couldn't help ask.

"No," Zach snorted, the amusement in his tone making Claire internally raise a fist in victory, "How long have I been in here?"

"Three days," she replied, serious now, "It's been a very long three days."

There was a frown in his voice when he said, "Three days? I've been sleeping for three whole days?"

"Well," Claire began, "It's a little more complicated than that. And you weren't exactly sleeping the entire time either. We had to keep waking you up every two hours for a day just to make sure you hadn't entered a coma. That first night, none of us really wanted to leave. But only one relative was allowed to stay so your dad did.

"I thought they were going to argue about it, you know. Your mom and dad. But I guess they know you and Gray better than I thought because they made that decision without saying anything."

"Mom was always closer to Gray," Zach mumbled, "Of course she had to go with him."

"That's true. But it was your mom who kept watch yesterday, though. Wouldn't take no for an answer."

It was silent for a while, with Zach mulling things over. Then he asked, "And Gray?"

Claire couldn't stop the smile from making it's way to her lips when she said, "Gray's been such a little devil ever since you were confined. I don't even know how many times we almost accidentally left him here because he kept on misdirecting us. His guilt-tripping is top-notch as well. He worries about you so much that it's been quite a challenge getting him to leave your side. You'd be able to see it for yourself tomorrow, actually. They'll be here as soon as visiting hours starts."

"Because of Gray?"

Claire smiled, "Yes. But not just because of Gray. Because of your parents, too. And Owen."

At Zach's disbelieving silence, Claire promised, "Things have changed now, Zach. You'll see. Everything will be all right from now on."


	3. Chapter 3

There was a pressure on his chest when Zach woke up. For a moment, he thought he couldn't breathe again. But then the pressure disappeared, and suddenly, a soft, worried voice asked, "Zach?"

Zach would recognize that voice everywhere.

Opening his eyes, Zach was met with Gray's worried blues.

Unable to bear the sight, Zach's eyes immediately softened, and with a voice just as concerned as Gray's had been, he breathed, "Hey."

The smile Gray gave him in return was as bright as the sun. But then tears started welling up in his eyes and before Zach could say anything, Gray collapsed against Zach's chest and began to let out heart-wrenching sobs. Knowing instinctively why Gray was so upset, Zach immediately wrapped his arms around the younger boy, trying to give what comfort he could. Zach was so focused on Gray, he only realized that there were others in the room with them when he felt hands cradling his own.

Surprised, he looked up, and was met with the tear-stained eyes of his mother. She was smiling sadly at him, at them both, and when he offered her a small smile in return, she clutched his hand tighter, afraid to let go.

Just as tightly, a hand had grasped at his shoulder. And just as he knew the voice was Gray's, Zach knew that the hand was his father's. He looked up at him, expecting to see impatience there, expecting to see _nothing_ , because he was going to leave them, wasn't he? They probably meant nothing to him anymore. But all the emotions Zach saw on his father's face told him otherwise.

It's been so long, _so, so_ long since his father looked at him with anything other than disappointment, since his family was actually a _family_ , that tears began to form in Zach's eyes as well. He hugged Gray tighter, buried his face on his brother's soft curls, and let it all out; his pain, his sadness, his joy and relief. Zach knew this wasn't going to last, but he reveled in the _love_ pouring out from the most important people in his life anyway, wishing, _hoping_ that this would be enough to remind them of what was and still could be.

When Gray loosened his arms around Zach, Zach did so as well. Gray sat up slowly, their mother holding the younger boy steady by his shoulders, carefully avoiding hitting Zach. And as Gray moved, Zach could finally see the rest of his visitors.

Claire had her arms around Owen, her eyes filled with tears. Owen, on the other hand, smiled at him when their eyes met, looking at him meaningfully, as if he wanted to say something. A memory tingled at the back of his mind then, something about a promise, and he smiled.

Zach had never felt so lucky his entire life.

And so loved.

He looked at them, at all of them, and though still with tears in his eyes, smiled at them as brightly as he could. He couldn't say the words out loud, not yet, but as they too returned the gesture, Zach knew that they understood.

' _Thank you_ ,' he wanted to say,

and, ' _I'm home_ '.

* * *

When Zach woke up the next day, his dad was nowhere to be seen.

Scott had insisted on staying last night, the _need_ in his voice so palpable that no one, not even Gray, argued with him. Everyone lingered until the last moment, until only he and his father were left. For a while, there was only silence in the room. Zach had no idea what his dad wanted to talk to him about, but he could only think of the divorce. Zach watched as his dad fidgeted in his seat, he was tense, his nervousness making Zach nervous as well. And as the silence stretched, Zach dreaded that nothing might be enough to salvage their family anymore, that his dad was going to tell him that he was still leaving. Zach had resigned himself of this before Jurassic World, but after realizing that this family still had a chance, Zach finally began to hope. Was it wrong of him to hope then?

Suddenly, his father said, "Owen told us what you told him before... at the hangar. Do you, do you remember anything from back then? Do you remember what you told him? Doctors told us you might not so I just wanted to know. Do you... remember anything?"

Zach could sense that whatever his dad was asking was important. So he looked straight at him but couldn't help wonder when it all changed. Zach could still remember ball games and summers chasing after mystical creatures in their backyard, could still remember his father's hands as he lifted him up and spun him around, Gray giggling hysterically as he watched, the sound of his mother's voice telling them to be careful in the background. Everything was perfect back then. When was it that things started to change?

Wondering if this was going to be the start of another change, Zach answered, "I remember bits and pieces. Mostly it's just a blur, like I was floating. Like a dream, I guess? I remember the headache, though," Zach noticed his father's hand had clenched tightly at that, "I remember... I remember making everyone angry. And then leaving. And Owen. I guess I did tell him something, because I remember the face he made. Did I tell him something I shouldn't have?" Worried that he might have done something to tear his family apart, Zach apologized, "I'm sorry, Dad. I didn't- I didn't know. I didn't mean to. I know I always screw things up, so I'm sorry-,"

The look on Scott's face was both broken and horrified when he took Zach's shoulders and said, "Zach. Zach, no. No, don't say that. You didn't do anything wrong. You didn't do _anything_ wrong. If there was someone who did, it's me. And your mother. That's... that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"About your divorce?" Zach asked, surprised at his dad's insistence that he'd done nothing wrong but still worried.

His dad winced at that, but he looked at Zach straight in the eyes as he replied, "I'm so sorry you and Gray had to know about that. We both love you so, so much despite how we've been acting, but no son. This isn't about that," seeing the skeptical look on Zach's face, Scott continued, "But we will talk about it, Zach. All of us. As a family. There are a lot of things that need to be fixed between your mother and I, I won't lie about that. But I'm not lying when I say I do love Karen. I always have, always will. I'd forgotten just how much until... this."

Sighing deeply, Scott rubbed at his eyes and said, "I didn't want to be reminded like this though. I could have _lost both of you_ ," shaking his head at the what-ifs, he continued, "You and Gray are the best decisions I've made my entire life. You are important to me, Zach. You are not a mistake."

Realizing suddenly what this was about, Zach's eyes widened before he turned away, uncomfortable. This was something he never wanted _anyone_ to know, for fear of being judged. Was this what he told Owen?

Still not looking at his father, and wondering what he could tell Owen, Zach started, "Dad I... That's not, I don't think-,"

Scott interrupted him, however, "Zach," he said gently, "Son, look at me, please?"

Zach didn't want to talk about this though. This was embarassing! Unlike Gray, Zach wasn't someone who could talk about his feelings. He already had to face so much disappointment from his family, ridicule from his friends and people at school... His thoughts were his own, something very close to him. Zach could take being shunned for his actions, because he usually pretended anyway (pretended to be a fool, a jerk, a hormonal teenager, pretended to be someone who hated his brother). But if someone knew what he really thought, what he really felt, and dismissed it, laughed at it, told him it wasn't important... He probably wouldn't be able to put up the act anymore.

It was burden he didn't want to bear on his own but had to because no one else would.

He heard the rustle of cloth as his father stood up, the bed dipping as he sat down at the foot of Zach's bed. He felt his father's hand on his leg and, with so much regret in his voice, Scott said, "Zach, I am so, so sorry for what your mother and I put you through. For what you're going through right now. Your mother and I were so busy with ourselves we couldn't see anything beyond our own problems. What's worse is that we didn't want to. Gray is an open book, it was always easy to understand him. But with you, we didn't even try. Because of that, it was so easy, so easy to put the blame on y-you."

It was the crack in his father's voice that made Zach look, and when he did, he saw pain and regret and guilt in his father's eyes.

"It's difficult seeing someone you love in pain. But it is infinitely more painful seeing your own child hurt because of you. I know there is much we need to make up to you but _please_ ," he said, looking at Zach straight in the eyes, "Don't ever think you were a mistake. That you're not important. You are the best damn decision I've made my whole life, Zach. The timing may have been wrong; your mother and I could barely support ourselves, let alone a child. But you were never unwanted. Never unloved. And I am so, so sorry our selfishness made you think you were. That we didn't notice until someone told us. That you don't know how _proud_ I am, how proud your mother and I are, of everything you've accomplished."

Zach had already conviced himself that there was nothing he could do to make his parents see that he wasn't just a screw-up. Hearing his father say otherwise, however, released that burden from his shoulders. Zach thought he'd already cried his heart out that morning but the relief he felt upon hearing his father's apology had him sobbing just as hard.

As he felt his father's arms wrap around him, Zach buried his head at the crook of his father's neck and cried even harder. In response, Scott tightened his hold even more, immensely grateful that he still had his son despite everything he'd been through.

"I love you, Zach," his father had said, meaning every bit of it, "With all my being, I love you."

But where was his father now?

Zach was frowning hard when the door to his room opened and Owen stepped in.

"Hey, uh," Owen said hesitantly, "You're awake! Um, Scott had to leave early; there was something he had to do. So... I'm here instead. Are you hungry? I can buy something outside. What do you feel like eating? I mean, like, cause hospital food ain't exactly the best, right? So..."

He was surprised when he saw Owen at first, but then Zach started to suspect something when Owen began to ramble. Narrowing his eyes at the older man, Zach asked, "There's going to be a party, isn't there? And it's supposed to be a surprise, isn't it?"

Owen's eyes widened in surprise before he cursed and said, "I told Claire I wasn't the best guy for this! I was in the Navy not the friggin' IMF!" smiling wryly at Zach, Owen said, "Sorry I ruined it, kid."

His mood lightening at the revelation, Zach couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all, "It's mom's idea, right? Maybe Gray's. Or both? They both like to celebrate every single thing, it's so stupid. What's the excuse now?"

Owen smiled at him then answered, "Homecoming. For you. For all of us."

"Oh," Zach said, blinking, "I guess... that's not so stupid."

"Nope. So," Owen said, clapping his hands, "Are you ready to go home?"

Zach snorted and sarcastically said, "Please. I've been ready since yesterday. Let's get the hell out of here."

* * *

"It was your mom, you know," Owen said on the drive home.

"Huh?"

"The one who thought of it. Your mom. Gray was the one who convinced everyone else though. 'Cause your little brother is sneaky like that."

That made Zach laugh, "Yeah, you wouldn't think it of Gray, would you? When we were younger, he could make me do _anything_. We got in trouble a lot though, but it was worth it."

Owen smiled at that, knowing that Gray could _still_ probably get Zach to do whatever he wanted.

There was comfortable silence for a while, then Zach asked, "Hey, Owen?"

"Yeah, kid?"

"Um, I don't think I said it yet," he said, a tinge of embarrassment coloring his voice, "But, thank you. For coming to save us back at the island. For what you did after. For what you're doing now. Thank you. Dad talked to me last night," he continued, gaze far away, "About what you told him. I mean, I don't remember what I told you but... thank you. For not brusing it off. Thank you."

When he felt Zach's gaze on him, Owen took his eyes off the road for a second to give Zach a sincere, "You're welcome," in response.

Zach grinned at him and settled back on his seat. After a while, he asked, "Hey, Owen?"

Raising a brow at him, Owen replied, "Yeah, Zach?"

"You're staying, right? You're gonna stick around? Aunt Claire said you've been on your own for a while and... well, I think, I think I'd need help for when Gray finally realizes what we've been through, because it's obvious he hasn't. And it's obvious Aunt Claire needs you, too. And I..." Zach hesitantly said at first, and then with more conviction continued, "I remembered what you told me back at the hangar, what you promised. But you know, the same goes the other way around too. We barely know each other, but you've done things for me, for us, that you're not just Aunt Claire's officemate anymore. You're important too, Owen. To me. To all of us. And I... I want to be able to do the same thing you've done for me. So," Zach said, his voice hopeful, "You will stick around, right?"

It's been a long, long time since anyone depended on him, _needed_ him. When he came back from war, he'd been a changed man. The woman he loved couldn't accept what he'd become and left him. His own family couldn't reconcile who he'd been and who he'd become that he had to leave. When he accepted the job at Jurassic World, it wasn't because he was enthralled by the idea of training raptors, though it was a part of it. Mostly it was because he wanted to run away from it all.

He'd convinced himself that he needed no one. That he was fine on his own.

And then Claire Dearing came into his life and changed it all. She was a force of nature. She was brutal and honest and she didn't hesitate to call on his bullshit when he told her why he came to Jurassic World. They argued, then they dated and he screwed it up.

Then the Indominous escaped.

When she asked him to help her find her nephews, he didn't hesitate. It was selfish of him, but he was glad, so, so glad she came to him for help.

And then he met Zach and Gray, two incredible kids who had Claire's fire in them, and suddenly, things changed.

It wasn't just Zach or Gray or Claire who needed him. Owen needed them all as well.

So when he turned to Zach, he answered with all his heart, "I will. For as long as I live, I will."

* * *

When the house was in view, Zach could see his mom waiting outside.

Climbing out of the car as Owen parked it nearby, Zach was met by his mother who was, unsurprisngly, smiling tearfully at him. He smiled ruefully at her, and accepted the hug she gave him.

Embracing him tightly, she kissed him on his cheek before saying, "Whenever you have burdens you can't carry on your own, I want you to remember that there are people who love you who will carry them for you," letting him go, she looked at him and with all sincerity said, "I love you, Zach. Welcome home."

Fighting the sting of tears at his mother's words, Zach smiled at her.

Then the door suddenly opened and Gray came barreling through, nearly knocking him to the ground if Owen hadn't steadied them both. His father came out next, and then a harried looking Claire.

Zach looked at them all, his heart swelling with love.

"Welcome home, Zach," Gray whispered to him.

Zach smiled at him, at all of them, as he said, "Thank you," and,

"I'm home."


End file.
